Definitely, Maybe

3 Stars – Wholesome

How do you tell your children that love is forever if they have lived through a divorce?  Where do they get the confidence that a commitment of the heart is more than just a fairy tale?  Such is the dilemma that faces Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) as he tries to explain his life to his 11-year-old daughter Maya (Abigail Breslin).  Will has been through three adult relationships which he thought would lead to “happiness ever after.”  Having grown up with the usual adolescent longings for a “Prince Charming,” Maya wants to know why fairytale romances don’t always last.  “Definitely, Maybe” chronicles their conversation as she peppers him with questions about the choices he made hoping to understand who she is in relationship with the most important man in her own life.

Will Hayes is a 31-year-old advertising executive.  He is handsome and has little trouble attracting beautiful women into his life.  He also has a shallow but all-too-common belief that relationships do not require work or commitment.  He is convinced that his good looks are all he needs.  As he reluctantly tells the story of his three significant women of his past, Maya longs to know if her father were to reentered any of their lives and heal the broken relationship that they could fulfill her longing for a traditional family relationship.

One by one the stories unfold.  In each case, Maya has more and more questions.  The catharsis that occurs throughout this process challenges Will to take more and more steps toward a mature perspective.  Maya’s longing for a loving mother and father ignites a desire within Will to move beyond his shallow urbane existence.  The only weakness in the story is that there is little, if any, community to support Will and Maya’s journey.  There is little spiritual or emotion guidance or friends who hold them accountable building their sense of confidence, trust, and compassion.

“Definitely, Maybe” is a snapshot of modern America.  For many young men and women, this film may be a wake-up call.  For those who are in mature relationships it will evoke sadness for the struggles facing the next generation.  For those who long for a close relationship with their father it is a romantic treat that two people can be so open and close.

Everyone longs to be loved and to live in a loving and supportive family.  In her young life, the most important lesson that Maya learns from her father is that he loves her without question.  Regardless of the flaws of any relationship that is the greatest treasure of all.

 

Discussion:

1. The innocence of a child often confronts a parent’s immature or selfish behavior.  How have you been impacted by others confronting your immaturity in relationships?  Did you accept their confrontation or not?

 

2. When Maya longed for a family she was expressing the desire of every child.  What do you believe the increasing frequency of divorce is doing to our children?  Do you believe they may give up on marriage altogether?

 

3. The unconditional love that Will expresses to Maya becomes a healing balm in their lives.  Who has expressed that kind of love to you?  How did it change you?

 

________________       

Cinema In Focus is a social and spiritual movie commentary.  Hal Conklin is former mayor of Santa Barbara and Denny Wayman is pastor of the Free Methodist Church. For more reviews: http://www.cinemainfocus.com.