MEET THE PARENTS

 

THREE STARS - Thoughtful

 

 

       Of all the fears that a young man can face, nothing can come close to meeting the parents of the girl you love.  No matter what you do or say, you are still the looming threat to removing one of their most valuable treasures from their home.

       "Meet The Parents" is a very funny parody about the age old trauma faced by a young man meeting his girl friend's parents for the first time.  If anything could go wrong, it does go wrong.

       Greg Focker (Ben Stiller) is in love with Pam Byrnes (Teri Pow), and although he hasn't yet met her parents, he is ready to pop the question and ask for her hand in marriage.  While he is in the midst of asking her, Pam's cell phone rings and she is told on the phone by her sister Debbie (Nicole DeHuff) that she is getting married. 

       Greg listens in as Pam's sister gleefully fills her in on what a great doctor her fiancee is, and how he asked her father first for permission to marry her.  Greg freezes in his tracks and is filled with self doubt.  He decides that maybe he should meet Pam's parents first.

       From this point on, the interrogation games begin.  Pam's father Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) is an ex-CIA operative who declares war on any guy Pam brings home.  Every situation is filled with gags and laughs that sometimes hit too close to home.

       When Jack asks Greg to say a blessing over the dinner meal, Jack is more interested in testing his Greg's religious convictions than he is in giving thanks to God.  Greg, who has never said grace in his life, painfully struggles through a verse from the musical Godspell which he heard playing on the sound system in the local convenience store.

       Every situation leads to more self doubt.  Pam's sister's fiancee is a doctor, while Greg is a male nurse.  Pam's ex-boyfriend Kevin Rawley (Owen Wilson) is a strikingly handsome blond multimillionaire, while Greg is barely getting by financially.

       In a heart to heart talk, Jack lectures Greg on the symbolism of the wedding ring, with a metaphor for his family, calling the ring the "circle of trust."   Greg's job, he realizes, is to be accepted into the family's circle of trust.  Jack's job is to keep the circle free from intruders.

       As we are often prone to do, Greg tries valiantly to earn the family's trust.  But, as in most situations, trust that has to be earned is a long uphill road to travel.  Every misstep can cause you to loose ground.  You are guilty until proven innocent.

       So what is the alternative?  How many of us take the position in life that outsiders need to earn their way into our lives?

       In the healthiest of relationships, a liberal amount of trust must be given out as a gift to those who are brought into our circle.  Given freely and openly, this becomes an invitation to outsiders to let down their defenses and we get to see the real man or woman. 

       In the end, the trust that two people have for each other in their marriage is going to be colored dramatically by the trusting attitude displayed by their parents towards them.  The choice we make as parents to open our arms in love is a far different statement than our arms crossed in judgment.

 

(569 words)

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